Allow yourself blocks of uninterrupted time to explore your body, and don’t pressure yourself to reach orgasm by the end. the process of elimination takes courage, determination, and patience, and sometimes it takes a few misses to find a hit. If you know types of stimulation that you don’t enjoy, you’re already on your way to figuring out what you do like. Give yourself pressure-free time to explore. You might prefer rubbing, pinching, tickling, circular motions, up-and-down or side-to-side strokes, or even light smacking - but you’ll never know until you try them all.
No two people like exactly the same things.
I share my experience to illustrate that you may be frustrated with masturbation simply because you’ve been trying the same method over and over to no avail. Eventually, through plenty of trial and error, I figured out my love for intensity and bought myself a big ol’ Magic Wand to lovingly smoosh my clit with.īut remember: We're all different. Exhibit A: I need intense pressure or vibration to get off, but my sexual partners for the first five years of my sex life only executed light, fluttery rubs and tickles or suction-y cunnilingus - which I hated. When we take the time to explore on our own, though, both our solo and partnered sex lives benefit. We all like being touched in different ways, and sometimes, we’re not even sure what they are until we feel them. There’s more than one way to stimulate yourself. With that said, let’s dive into a few things to remember as we re-acquaint ourselves with…ourselves! 1. Take solace in the fact that many of us are still trying to figure out how the heck to pleasure ourselves on our own terms, and that even a “sexpert” like myself needs pointers from time to time. The first thing I want you to know is that, wherever you’re at, you're not alone.
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